Barford friends celebrate gift of life kidney donation
THE gift of life is the gift Julie Crawshaw gave to her close friend, Catherine McCloskey, when she donated her kidney.
Several of Catherine’s friends were tested to see if their kidneys were compatible, but Julie was the one who had the perfect match and when the transplant took place in September 2018 it was life changing.
Each year the two friends who have known each other since they were teenagers, meet on 21st September, which was the date of the operation at Walsgrave Hospital. When the pair, who are both 55, are together they simply celebrate life.
Julie, from Barford, and Catherine, from Kenilworth, have always enjoyed their time together and on the night before the transplant it was exactly the same as the two friends laughed and reflected on things generally and what lay ahead.
When Julie found out her kidney was a match for Catherine her response was instant.
“You don’t want to see your friend die if you can do something about it,” she said. “Catherine was getting in a bad way and when you’re faced with that you want to help as much as you can.
“I was one of a group of girl friends who all underwent checks to see if they could donate and I was the one who matched up.”
Catherine suffered from a genetic kidney disease. Her mum also had a kidney transplant and her sister was on dialysis. Faced with the same diagnosis, Catherine hoped a donor could be found but the process is complicated.
“I was monitored by doctors and would have preferred a transplant instead of the prospect of dialysis three times a week, but a transplant involves a kidney donor from someone who is deceased or the alternative is a live transplant – both have got to match.
“Julie and I went through several lengthy compatibility tests and her kidney was the perfect match,” Catherine said.
The tests include cardiovascular, blood tests, overall health and fitness and confirmation that Julie herself wasn’t suffering illness. She was in fact very healthy but Catherine’s condition wasn’t good.
“I was very sick from the toxins that built up in my body,” Catherine told the Herald. “My kidneys couldn’t flush out the toxins. My skin was itchy. I was sick first thing every morning because the toxins had built up over night.
“During the day I felt sick all the time. I was so tired and sick that a walk upstairs took ages. When you’re ill you start to invent things to do in a different way to avoid the pain.”
The need for a transplant became more serious so when Julie offered her kidney it gave Catherine a new opportunity and the two friends forged a remarkable bond of understanding about what matters most in life.
Julie said: “I know part of me is now in Catherine and we sometimes laugh about getting our kidneys together for a celebration party.
“I honestly compare it to motherhood. When you have a baby you’re creating new life and for me the transplant was also a way of helping life – and both are not without their scars.”
On the day of the transplant two separate teams in two theatres at Walsgrave Hospital operated on Julie first to remove one of her two kidneys, and then checked everything was fine before a further operation took place to transplant the kidney to Catherine.
The operation was a success and within days Catherine felt elation for the first time in years because her new kidney was getting to work.
“I sat up and looked down and for the first time in years I could see the bones in my ankles, something I hadn’t seen for a long time because my legs were usually so swollen and painful because of my condition.
“Forgive me for saying this, but I went to the toilet quite a lot as the new kidney was flushing out my system. In fact, it was so active the doctors had to slow it down and I had a lot of medication.
“The irony was I felt much better but Julie – the healthy one of us – quite naturally had to take time to rest and recover,” said Catherine.
She spent seven days in hospital and Julie four days, after which she went home to recover.
Catherine did eventually go back to her job with National Grid in Warwick but has since retired. Julie continues to work in the charity planning sector.
As Catherine continued to get stronger she marvelled that each day was a revelation for her.
“I wasn’t feeling sick and I wasn’t being sick. My skin and eyes looked a lot clearer and I was able to eat properly. I could actually walk upstairs and my legs weren’t killing me anymore,” she said.
Six years on and the memories will always be there for Catherine and so are the tears as she recalled how her husband, Neil, was overwhelmed by Julie’s life-giving donation and his joy at seeing an end to his wife’s suffering.
Catherine also cries about not being – she feels – as much of a mum to her daughter because of her medical condition.
“My daughter, Isabelle, was 16 at the time and getting ready for her GCSEs and I just wanted to do so much more for her if only I could,” Catherine explained.
As a mother of a 17-year-old son, called Will, and as a wife to John, Julie completely understands what Catherine means by being there for loved ones.
“Donating my kidney to Catherine was a logical thing to do, but I also did it because Isabelle was too young to lose her mum.
“Isabelle has her whole future ahead of her. She’s gone to university, is travelling the world and doing great things in conservation and she is an impressive young woman. I have to say, it’s so good to see mum and daughter shopping together,” Julie said.
Julie also praised the immense support she was blessed with by her family and her work.
“When I chose to help Catherine, I had significant back-up from Will and John and my family and work where I took three months off.
“Catherine and I always laugh and we recently went on holiday with the girls to Italy where we’ve always wanted to go. We say to ourselves, make every opportunity count,” Julie said.
When Catherine and Julie get together for their annual reunions they will have a lunch and there are quiet little moments filled with tears of joy.
Catherine said: “We’ve been to Kew Gardens, Stowe and Hidcote, where we have lunch and lots of laughter. I keep saying ‘thank you’ to Julie but she’s told me to stop, so we’ve agreed the only time I can say this is on the actual anniversary, but as we’ve just celebrated the anniversary, all I wanted to say is ‘thank you’”.
For more information about kidney donation, visit https://tinyurl.com/27y9k2zc
