Lifeways counsellor Nicky Adams on the pressures facing young people and the help available

With a background in youth and community work, followed by a spell in teaching, Nicky Adams did a further degree and has now worked for a number of years as a counsellor, particularly with young people.

While remaining upbeat about the huge potential she sees in this next generation, she also acknowledges the inescapable reality that schools, the NHS, charities and private counsellors have had to respond to growing pressures and stresses for young people.

Since setting up her own business, Nicky said it has been busy from the off.

“I think life has become more difficult because of the constant pressures around social media,” she said. “With it being pretty much 24 hours, that has a massive influence, from what I’m hearing from young people.

“It’s outside of school and in school, and that can impact on self-confidence, body image and bullying.

“There can also be a lot of stresses and a lot of anxiety around friendship groups.”

Schools will have a policy but in terms of what happens at home, while some parents will respond by restricting their young person’s social media use, that is not always a straightforward answer, said Nicky.

“That can help. But sometimes by restricting the use too much or cutting out, let’s say, Snapchat or other platforms, then that young person can then become a bit isolated.

“And then they can become a target because they are isolated.

“They’re not being invited to different events or parties or whatever it might be.

“So it’s really difficult for parents to get the right balance. And also for the young person to also get the right balance because there's that whole fear of missing out.”

The impact of Covid has added greatly to these challenges.

“The need has risen dramatically since lockdown,” she said.

“This is what we’re seeing as counsellors that work with young people – the impact of the lockdown on them and how that’s impacted in terms of their anxiety around social situations, developing friendships, their relationships generally with the outside world, with interacting with people.

“For some, being out of school, there was the loss of structure and routine, plus the impact on socialisation.”

A lasting effect has seen many more young people spend far longer in their bedrooms on devices when they are at home. And there has also been concern voiced at a national level about a drop in school attendance – something Nicky acknowledges in the years since the lockdowns.

“I see quite a lot of young people who don’t attend school full-time or even at all. They might be on reduced timetables.

“It’s really, really tough getting into school for some, even for an hour.

“This has increased again, a significant amount of young people that are not in school full-time because, generally, their anxiety levels are so high.

“It’s really tough.”

It’s against this backdrop that Nicky, the other counsellors based at Lifeways and all those involved in working with young people are seeking to help.

Though counselling sessions are with the young person, Nicky will involve the family if that opportunity is there and agreed to by the client.

But creating the right space – and for as many sessions as works for the individual – is crucial.

“Teenagers don’t want to necessarily talk to their parents about everything, obviously,” she explains.

“So having somewhere to come to talk to me or another counsellor here is great because they can then feel that they can talk about some of the general teenage stuff.

“We talk about techniques they can use to help with the anxiety. We recommend a lot of different approaches and techniques they can use. So it’s so much more than we'll just listen.

“It’s not all complicated stuff necessarily but it can be something that’s really impacting them.”

Though a typical session is one-to-one, Nicky also calls on her Cavalier King Charles called Evie to play a part for some people.

“She’ll sit with them, sit on their knee, and they find it quite helpful because if she’s sitting with them, they don’t have to focus too much on me.

“So we’re still talking, but it helps. It’s a bit like, you know, having a fidget toy or something.

“I don’t bring her all the time, but some people actually ask me to bring her, so she doesn’t come all the time, but she does come sometimes.”

And though Nicky and colleagues at Lifeways, schools and NHS services are flat out as they respond to the varying needs of our young people, she is resolute in her belief that they are a generation with a lot to offer.

“This generation of young people are so socially aware, more than any I've known before,” said Nicky.

“They have really strong views and values on where society is going, on issues such as Black Lives matter, LGBTQ+, neurodiversity, factory farming and more.

“I can see this generation having a real impact and making changes in society for the better.

“While there is pressure from early on and there may be low moments, they are generally motivated to do the best they can do and have optimism and excitement about the future.”

LIFEWAYS is a charity that offers a wide range of ways to support people in and around Stratford.

Manager James Pavitt said: “We operate like a social enterprise. So we let rooms at a very low rate and if we make a surplus at the end of the year we put that into projects.

“Over the past few years we’ve been concentrating on projects for young people because we’ve seen the need for counselling for young people rocket.

“We have put a lot of money into supporting the Autistic Girls Network by giving them a free space, so every Friday they have different age groups of young autistic girls coming here.

“We have also teamed up with Stratford-based Lifespace, which provides a mentoring service for young people who are having difficulty in school. . . and we are running our own parent support group for young people who are not attending schools.”