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Was Shakespeare really a woman? Shirley not!




Shakespeare was really a mum of six called Shirley, according to new research.

Doubts about Shakespeare's authorship have been voiced for more than 150 years, with the usual suspects including Francis Bacon, Christopher Marlowe and Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford. However it is rare that the real identity of Shakespeare is suggested to be a woman.

In her new book, To Be or Not To Be... A Lady, Dr B Schidt says that she has irrefutable proof that Shakespeare was a woman.

“Numerology holds the key to unlocking the mystery over who the real Shakespeare was,” reckons Dr Schidt. “If you take Shakespeare’s birthdate (23041564) and times it by the number of plays she wrote (37), then times that by the number of sonnets (154) you end up with the figure 131290831672 – which when used to decipher Portia’s famous court speech in the Merchant of Venice (when she is disguised as a MAN!) it clearly spells out ‘Shirley mum x 6’.”

Dr Schidt continues: “The evidence is so compelling that we should stop thinking of Shakespeare as ‘the Bard of Avon’ and instead re-nickname her ‘the Broad of Avon’.”

(SNIP! That’s enough Schidt theories for now – Ed.)



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