Heartbreak - Alcester couple were together for three decades but married for just a day
A HEARTBROKEN wife married her partner of more than three decades, only to lose him the following day.
Julia Povey described the bittersweet joy of finally tying the knot with the father of her two children while knowing they were rapidly running out of time.
Popular Alcester resident Phil Povey died aged 64, after a shock diagnosis of terminal cancer.
The couple’s ordeal began in August, while Julia and Phil were enjoying a short break in London.
Although Phil wasn’t feeling well, as a long-term sufferer of Crohn’s Disease he assumed it was just a flare-up.
But when his illness and tiredness worsened, they cut short their trip and returned home via Warwick Hospital’s A&E.
A blood test showed all was not well and a follow-up CT scan revealed Phil had stage 4 bowel cancer, which had spread to his liver.
Dazed and shocked, the family waited to hear when he would start chemotherapy and other treatment.
Three agonising weeks later, on 11th September, medics broke the terrible news that Phil was too poorly to have chemo and had only months or weeks to live.
Each day Phil became weaker but his bravery and determination to care for his family shone through to the end.
Having been together 31 years and engaged for 25 of those, Julia and Phil decided to marry. Under an emergency licence, the ceremony took place at the family home on 17th September with their children Molly, 21, and Joe, 20, as witnesses and 10 close family and friends, including Phil’s eldest son Alex from a previous relationship.
Julia, 57, said: “It was a quick but incredibly moving service – emotional and full of joy and love. Although it was just for one day, we shared almost 31 years together, an achievement for which we were both thankful.”
Sadly, the day after their wedding, Phil slipped away.
Julia, who is a senior accountant, said: “It was heartbreaking, but Phil was very accepting of his fate – he was calm and wasn’t in any pain. He held on until we were all there at his bedside and he was surrounded by his family.”
She added: “Phil was a leader and a captain – the person who brought people together.
“He could talk to anyone and was the life and soul of the party, with a great sense of humour. But underneath all the banter and wacky capers, he was a generous, kind and caring soul – a softie who would take people under his wing.”
Phil came to Alcester as a teenager and went to Greville High School, where he developed his talent for sport. Rugby remained a passion throughout his life, and he played for Alcester RFC where he made many friends.
To celebrate this, on Saturday (19th October), the club held a third XV memorial home match against Shipston, as a tribute to their former teammate.
Phil, who also loved watching and playing football, was a dedicated West Bromwich Albion FC fan. He spent most of his career in sales, working his way up to become a successful sales manager.
The family have praised the nursing team from the Shakespeare Hospice, who helped care for Phil at the end, as “fantastic”.
Julia, who used to play for Alcester’s women’s rugby team, explained: “Although they were here for Phil, they also supported me, Molly and Joe. They made a huge difference as they were so calm, compassionate and respectful.”
Molly, who is training to be a primary school teacher, added: “The support and care they gave dad and our family during his short and unexpected battle with cancer was invaluable.”
She and her partner David plan to run a half-marathon in memory of Phil. With all money going straight to the Shakespeare Hospice, they’ve already raised almost £3,000, including gift aid. More than 200 well-wishers including family, friends, work colleagues, members of Phil’s ‘rugby family’ and fellow Alcestrians paid tribute to Phil at his funeral on 16th October at St Nicholas Church.
Phil’s coffin was carried in to the jaunty sound of George Baker Selection’s Little Green Bag – the song used for the opening scenes of Quentin Tarantino’s hit film Reservoir Dogs.
Julia added: “Phil planned it all – even at the end, he still wanted to make everyone smile.”
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